Is breastfeeding right for you?

It’s been such a popular topic among new moms, or I should say – breastfeeding seems like the only right method when it comes to feeding our precious babies. Because it’s all NATURAL. but just because it’s natural, does it mean it’s the best way for you and your family? Now that I have raised 2 babies and have tried different ways of feeding them, exclusive breastfeeding and partially exclusive pumping, I’m here to tell you – NO! breastfeeding is not the only way to raise a healthy child.

When I had my first baby, I was all for breastfeeding because I thought that’s what a mom is for – to continue providing the nutrients while she’s out of the womb. I had to drink a variety of high protein soup everyday for every meal (yes, even fish broth for breakfast) to get the milk down fast. It quickly proved to me that it was a bad decision – I developed mastitis and got a high fever of 40 degrees for 3 days. While I was experiencing worse than labor kind of pain, I had to breastfeed a fussy baby every 2 hours to get the clogged milk out. It became the worst time of my new motherhood. Because of this, I didn’t push too hard when my second baby didn’t latch on very well. And of course, I refused to have fish broth for breakfast as my mother in law proposed (that part didn’t go very well but that’s ok). I started to pump as my nipples got sore again, which I didn’t expect as a second time mom but that’s what is going to happen every time you have a new baby, sorry if this disappoints you… Now my baby boy is 4 months old and I’m still pumping. He is healthy and I am happy, I even got more time to spend with my daughter, a triple win for the entire family 😉

But just because I had painful experience it doesn’t mean that I suggest you not to breastfeed. No I didn’t say that. I’m going to share with you some of the pros and cons of breastfeeding, just so that you have a second opinion if you are also struggling with breastfeeding.

It’s fresh and nutritious

Who doesn’t want fresh milk? We parents want to provide the best to our children without thinking. Breastfeeding allows the baby to have first hand milk at the best temperature. It also provides nutrients tailored to your baby’s developmental needs. For example, colostrum – the first bit of liquid gold you produce after giving birth, contains the highest level of antibodies and will give your fresh newborn a good kickstart so that she doesn’t get sick when she’s suddenly out into the whole new world full of air pollution and coronavirus (Don’t get me wrong on this, you still need vaccine for it). If you want to give your baby the best but nothing, mommy milk it is.

It’s super convenient

To be honest, this one was the only reason I didn’t throw my baby girl out when she was sucking my burning cracked sore nipples. I love to have the convenience just to lift up my shirt anytime and anywhere to feed her. When travel was still a thing back in 2019, we fed like a champ – on a ferry boat, in the suspension park, in the aquarium, even in my sleep… Not having to pack any bottle is really a huge benefit for life on the go.

It saves you big money

Because it’s all natural, all you need is a mommy with not yet bitten nipples (kidding, it’s not that bad). Who doesn’t love to save big fortune when you already spent thousands even before the baby arrives. I’m still worried that my pump won’t last until I wean my baby and try to sell it. Because it’s expensive:( Not having to mention the investment you have to make to store the milk. Same with formula if you are not pumping. It’s hard to resist from getting time saving and fancy products like formula maker. So if you have a tight budget, breastfeeding is the most economic way to go.

Now I’ve talked about 3 obvious benefits of breastfeeding, here it comes the cons of it.

It’s PAIINFUL

This is something that has been under looked in the postpartum topic. I have all my friends including myself complaining that the process of learning breastfeeding is much more painful than giving birth! Yes, you have to learn it! It doesn’t come naturally! I was the lucky one that I only got sore nipples (mastitis was something else). Pinky milk is more likely to happen if you are unlucky. Yes, your nipple will bleed. Don’t be too hard on yourself is what I tell my mommy friends. You don’t have to cut your nipples to become a great mom. I said what I said.

You are being hooked up 24/7

Being a breastfeeding mom basically means that you have to sit down and just be a milk bottle every 2 hours. even worse, you have to act like a pacifier whenever your baby needs comfort, like when she gets woke up by the noise of your husband opening the bedroom door when you just have put her down. I remember the time when my daughter was cluster feeding and took 2-3 hrs to fall asleep every night. Not to mention that she also woke every 30 mins to nurse in order to get back to sleep, and each nursing session took 30 mins. This all happened while my husband was sleeping soundly… It’s all about balance – he can’t breastfeed so I had to do it, just like I couldn’t sleep so he had to… right? No, THATS NOT RIGHT.

You get NO time for your family

This is why I chose to bottle feed my younger baby – I want to spend time with my daughter, who was used to being the only baby in the family. I’ve heard so many stories about the jealousy feeling the older kids would have towards new babies. Not only it’s too big of a feeling for such small bodies, it also leaves us mommy heart broken. And don’t forget your poor husband, who also wants attention and love of yours.

There are many other reasons why I didn’t breastfeed for the second time, like constant leaking milk and the engorgement pain due to frequent feeding. No matter which method you choose to feed your baby, there is no right or wrong. Just remember to be kind to yourself, like you would do with others.

Why do you need 20 body suits for babies?

They are so damn cute, aren’t they?! But that’s not the only reason why you need so many while they grow out of them so fast. If you are someone like me who is obsessed with buying stylish and cute baby onsies, read on and I’ll give you enough excuses to do so 😉

They get dirty fast

Before I had babies, I didn’t understand why some mama bloggers would suggest to prepare 6 body suits and 6 sleepers for a newborn. Assume people do laundry once a week, do they really have to wear different outfit each day like us did before the pandemic? After having 2 babies, I’m here to tell you that they do! Sometimes you’d have to change them several times a day just because they are badasses 😉

Babies, especially newborns will have blowouts. The kind of blowouts so forceful that they usually shoot upwards and end up in their back, sometimes in the back of their heads (it’s a real story of my coworker who had his baby almost 20 years ago). Unless you use a diaper size so big that covers their entire back and chest, it’s hard to avoid not to stain their shirts. Also make sure your changing table is not facing your closet with your favourite shirt hung at the front 😉

They also puke A LOT! like tiny badasses… when they are burping, they spill milk. When they are playing, they spill milk. Even when they are sleeping, they spill milk.

Because of those exciting moments, some days you will find yourself doing nothing but just feeding, burping, changing diaper, changing shirt, and start all over again.

To save time

Who has the time and energy to do laundry when you have a sleep deprived body, a screaming toddler and a crying baby? Always having clean pairs of onesies in the drawer comes extra handy for us. You even need a few in your diaper bag in case they have a blowout when you are out with them. I remember the very first time we took our baby girl to the clinic without a diaper bag. She had a huge blow out and we finally found a huge diaper that covered up to her chest and only had a blanket to cover her tiny bare body in the winter… This mama really learned her lesson and now she’s carrying a diaper bag even out for groceries. Now that you have a pile of baby clothes for different occasions, just make sure you have an extra big laundry basket;)

Babies grow FAST

Thanks to this, we don’t have to suffer from the witchy newborn stage forever! But the bad news is that you may only be able to enjoy the cute onesie you got from your baby shower with your favourite meme on it for no more than 2 weeks. Here’s a tip I’m going to share with you. Instead of buying clothes that perfectly fit within your baby’s age range, buy different sizes so that your baby can grow into them. Plus your baby will most likely enjoy the oversized fit so that they can wiggle around more freely. I actually had a few newborn outfits I didn’t even get a chance to put it on my baby girl before they were grown out of. Luckily I had a second chance where my son got to wear them, even the pink ones;)

Motherhood is challenging, no matter you are a first time mom or a mom to a full house. Finding different ways to enjoy your life becomes the priority, believe it or not. Remember, you are worth it. Your baby is worth to own 20 outfits if that makes you smile.

How my second pregnancy is different from the first?

“Woo Hoo!!! Congratulations! I’m so excited for you! That’s the greatest news I’ve heard today!”

Sadly, I don’t get those anymore. Either that I’m low key this time, or that people are feeling numb about me being pregnant this soon again. Like I’ve become the lady who is forever pregnant in the office…

No more glories

I still remember how I felt during the second and third trimester of my first pregnancy. The always glorious look on my face claiming to the world that I’m not ever going to give up to the change of my body. The super hyped energy level that made me ready to conquer the world anytime. And of course, the excited and anxious feeling of how my little bundle of joy will change my life. Even during the HCG overdosed first trimester, I was relaxed enough and got to do whatever I wanted to do. Now that I’m looking at a picture of me 2 years ago, putting it side by side with a picture today, I can’t recognize myself.

No more week counts

I still can’t believe that I’m almost half way through. And yet I don’t have a single picture of my belly! During the last one, the first thing I never forgot to do every morning was to take a picture of my belly, compare it with last day and upload it to my bump album. I was checking the calendar every day and counting on the days left until the next ultrasound. When I reached a new week milestone, I check every website to see what is normal and how the baby would look like inside my belly. The time went by very slow, but I enjoyed every second.

No more travel

Not even road trips. I really regretted that I cancelled my travel plan after I found out about my first pregnancy. IT WAS A TOTALLY WRONG DECISION. I (especially my parents) was overly cautious during my first trimester. They didn’t want me to risk taking the 13 hrs flight back to China. I could have a reason because I was overly protective of my little fetus. But let me tell you something, GO WHEREVER YOU WANT TO GO while you can! But does that mean you can’t ever travel after you have kids? The answer is, Yes you can, but you just won’t enjoy it.

More Confidence

I even bought a baby Doppler to check if the heart beat still existed everyday to give myself assurance. This time I don’t even bother. I can feel the little kicks every now and then. I know that I’m doing everything I should to keep the baby safe. Faith will take care of everything else. It’s the trust that you have built with your body to believe that it will protect your baby as long as you are doing things within the boundary. My parents are still overly careful and telling me not to lift heavy weight like my daughter. Because as for her age, she is quite heavy… But I choose to trust my body that it will at least allow me to take care of my own baby, isn’t it?

Less Money to Spend

This is the beauty of having subsequent children. The more you have, the less you spend per kid. This also gave me the excuse to buy things I really wanted but not very much needed for my first baby. People, especially moms, are always very creative at finding ways to show off their love to the newly added family member. They tend to buy a lot of useless stuff that babies don’t really need. Like pairs of fancy princess shoes for newborns who barely have their eyes open. The business that sells baby stuff are really good at leveraging the market.

When you have raised a child, you also have a better idea of what you really need but you were not sure with the first one. Like a overly packed hospital bag with my husband’s PJ and shower gel in it, and some fancy and bulky blankets that my daughter only used once because what she really needed was swaddles that make her into a perfect little britto.

More Sex

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Because now you know exactly what to expect down the road until your second little angel pops out, you feel a lot less anxious than your first pregnancy where you were constantly worried if anything you do is going to hurt your baby. Sex during pregnancy was my top concern. It took me a whole pregnancy and lots of researches to finally realize that a woman with no pregnancy complexity is fully capable of this multitasking skill. How amazing is that??

Also knowing the fact that your body will be in shut down mode in just a few months. Why not enjoy the pleasure while you still can? What’s even better? Sex during pregnancy can promote your mental health by reducing stress and thus leads to smarter baby. Happy parents with a smart bean, what do you have to lose?

Being a new mom is hard. Being a mom with a bump is even challenging. Even I listed a lot of things I can’t enjoy during this pregnancy because of my little trouble maker 1 year old. I am much more happier than I ever was. Sure I miss the days where it’s just the two of us and the dogs. But my heart wasn’t fulfilled until I met my little angel. I wouldn’t know how deeply I could love someone, that how my heart was touched when I was slowly pouring water onto her little shoulder while she’s playing in the bath. I can work harder to earn the glories back, but I will not ever trade those for any second of my delightful moment.

This is motherhood, a lesson only your child can teach you.

What my life is like during a Global Pandemic?

During such a global traumatic event, nothing is impossible, like becoming a full time working and staying home mom who is baking baby #2 at the same time.

Work Overload

I find myself barely have time to do my daily 30 mins exercise after a day of 1.5 full time jobs. Thankfully I got my dear hubby’s help to watch the little monster who is always over dramatic about her feelings. Yet I decided to start a blog which takes my only spare quiet peaceful time after my LO went to bed. At this point, you probably think that I’m regretting my decision. But you know what? Something is changing my life, slowly.

Distance Creates Beauty

When I had the only job as a stay home mom with my mom here helping me, my life was boring and hopeless. How could I feel this way with the 2 most important women living with me everyday? Well, distance creates attractions. Luckily, this brutal virus gave my mom a perfect excuse to leave this place. WE BOTH NEED A BREAK.

New Coworkers

Because I was pregnant with little Dolphin, I made the decision to go back to work temporarily as my husband now stays home. I was very much worried that he would not be able to cope with the stress (boringness) to live along with a 1 year old who is just learning to walk. Again, thankfully to the sudden appearance of this virus, I had the chance to work from home.

Photo by J carter on Pexels.com

Perhaps I’m the only one who is loving WFH with a toddler as one of my co workers. I really enjoy playing with her when it’s usually my coffee break. Yes it created distances between me and my real coworkers. I can’t have a clear work and life boundaries. I can’t really take a break AT ALL. But hey, I really enjoy seeing her genuine smiles when I’m tired. I love having a little adventurous walk with her even when it’s raining outside. I will also miss having home made BBQ burgers as a work lunch at a sunny patio with my lifetime lover.

Finding a Passion

I really hated the feeling of not being able to find anytime for myself. Or it’s the fact that I’m just letting myself lead by wherever Google takes me to when I just jump into the sofa and pull out my phone for the entire night. It’s like you didn’t prepare for dinner and you only have the choice of either instant noodle or a bag of chips at the last minute. Both will make you very satisfying at the moment, but you will very likely feel guilty about it afterward. It’s after many nights like that I’ve decided to find myself something to do.

You probably want to go to my other post, Why do I start blogging , to find out what has been processed through my mind to make such a choice. Because I already forgot… Thankfully I stroke the iron when it’s hot. I knew I had to plan for my night, the only time I could find peacefulness. This is when I started to realize the little change in my head. I really anticipate each night to come. Not only that I can start on my ‘new job’, but it makes me feel pumped to do everything else. I don’t wait to prepare dinner anymore. I don’t leave the dishes until my husband complains and cleans them. I even rush to get them done so I can leave sometime for Yoga after blogging.

I feel truly blessed at where life has taken me to so far. I enjoy every moment I get to share with my family. Oh the virus, you make people die, you make people live.